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The Compassionate Mind (Compassion Focused Therapy)-Paul Gilbert

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'Wise and perceptive. [It] teaches self-compassion and the consolations of kindness. I recommend it.' SALLY BRAMPTON, author of Shoot the Damn DogDEVELOP YOUR FEELINGS OF COMPASSION AND INCREASE YOUR SENSE OF WELL-BEING In societies that encourage us to compete with each other, compassion is often seen as a weakness. Striving to get ahead, self-criticism, fear, and hostility towards others seem to come more naturally to us.The Compassionate Mind explains the evolutionary and social reasons why our brains react so readily to threats - and reveals how our brains are also hardwired to respond to kindness and compassion.Research has found that developing kindness and compassion for ourselves and others builds our confidence, helps us create meaningful, caring relationships and promotes physical and mental health. Far from fostering emotional weakness, practical exercises focusing on developing compassion have been found to subdue our anger and increase our courage and resilience to depression and anxiety. 'As one of Britain's most insightful psychologists, Gilbert illuminates the power of compassion in our lives.' OLIVER JAMES, AUTHOR OF AFFLUENZA

Book The Compassionate Mind (Compassion Focused Therapy) Review :



Starts off really well, exploring the core underlying issues of compassion across philosophical, moral, and evolutionary/cognitive scientific grounds. But by time we get to second half and the “how to’s begin I found myself flipping more and more pages just wishing he would stop blathering and be compassionate enough to realize that (a) readers have lives to live and not infinite hours to indulge in every thoght you may have, and (b) by covering ever topic under the sun the message is so diluted I cannot remember what we’re talking about. He seems to want to cover every aspect of psychological health imaginable (so that CBT and shame theory etc get big play) rather than focus on “compassion” itself.Passages like that following ensue constantly....this from page 300 or so, still half a book to go....yawn:“...In much of the work I do as a therapist, I find that people have often been –consciously and sometimes less consciously –striving to achieve things in life to impress and win the approval of their parents or other people important to them. A key reason for this is because our brains have worked out that, if people value, like and respect us, they’re going to be there when we need them. If we feel that we can’t win their approval, life is going to be that bit more risky. To help clarify this in your own life, it can sometimes be worth writing a letter to yourself asking whose approval you value most, whom you want to impress, from whom do you want to hear that they value you. Now why would you want these things? What is it that you’re really seeking? Sometimes it’s particular individuals, such as our parents, or it might be a teacher or friends. For religious people, it could be God –or even the cosmos, if you’re a New Ager!”He’s only a mediocre writer and so should be self aware enough to know that he’s got at most 200 pages of meaningful discourse to offer, not 500. I’m loosing my way with this book and about to bail out.
This is not a quick-fix self-help book you can read in an afternoon. The first section of the book is clearly written for individuals who want to delve into evolutionary psychology and the influence of genetics and environment on our personalities. I found it to be very clearly written (even if it is rather academic in nature) and I particularly enjoyed learning about the evolutionary components of our brains-- how different parts of the brain developed at different periods of time and therefore don't always work well together. I was familiar with the concept of our "lizard-brain"- that flight/flight/freeze part of our brains- but was not aware that there's a part of our brain that is specifically designed to self-soothe-- to calm ourselves down. Learning to focus on that and develop a self-soothing system is key to good mental health and to developing the compassionate mind.The second part of the book goes into various meditation and other techniques you can use to calm yourself down. I found this section to be very helpful and interesting. Ironically, I was reading this book on my computer while sitting next to a highly anxious person on a flight. She was very close to having a panic attack, and I was able to read parts of the book to her and get her engaged in a conversation about what she was feeling-- getting her to describe her anxiety in detail (one of the techniques in the book) and she calmed down. So I guess that's proof that at least one of the techniques works! :)I understand some of the other reviewers' criticisms of the book in that if you're looking for more immediate solutions and less theory-- this isn't it. This is for individuals who, for whatever reason, want to know the psychological theories behind compassion. Well worth the time invested.

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